The Inescapable March toward Matrimonial Bliss

I'm am not engaged. No one get excited. Breathe, Mary, breathe. There have been so many weddings in the past few years and the next few years appear to offer no respite.

Two of Mary's friends are getting married this weekend. It is, naturally, a whole affair. Last night was the rehearsal dinner, followed by a bonfire. I don't object to the bonfire; I played a large role in building and maintaining the fire. Today is the actual wedding. Mary objects to the wedding. Not that she doesn't want her friends to be married. Rather, she is the Best Man and has to read a poem during the ceremony and give a speech at the reception. Public speaking, it appears, is where her objections lie. Tomorrow, there is a breakfast - depending upon the time and how much I drink tonight, I might have some reservations about that in the morning.

Point is, it's a three day affair. Now, I think weddings are somewhat strange. You take a ceremony that is a very personal bonding between yourself and the person from whom you care most in the world, and invite everyone and their uncle to a party that you are throwing in your honor. They get you gifts, but you or your family pays for it. That's a little self-indulgent and weird. Mary doesn't like the fact that they are multiple day affairs. I can sort of understand that as a natural evolution. Back in the day, after the bride and groom were married, they could finally engage in certain matrimonial delights that had, until that point, been prohibited and they were actually anxious to get a little privacy. Obviously, I am talking about playing with the stand-mixer and other wedding presents. But, as our society has progressed and couples have begun living together previous to marriage, thus they have already had a great deal of experience with matters that were previously consigned to married class alone. I mean, most people have used their stand-mixer many times by the time the get married and have used it to make meals for more than a single person - heck sometimes, people get married after using their stand-mixer for several people simultaneously. I digress. Now, the bride and groom feel a need to make the experience more worthwhile to visiting friends and relatives.

The weddings are, of course, theme-ed to a greater or lesser extent, if only colored by the habits of the bride and groom and their social circle. This wedding has a hippie vibe going on. There was the bonfire, which included a relative with a guitar and harmonica (and yes, one of those neck-brace things so that you can play the harmonica and guitar at the same time), and some nature walks and possibly some rock-climbing. This wedding is a union between a Greek and an Italian and that a Greco-Roman wedding didn't become a giant toga party, I feel, is somewhat of a missed opportunity. One of the other guests pointed out that the modern day Italians aren't really the descendants of the Romans, but why nit-pick to avoid a Bacchanalian Orgy?

My brother is doing the multi-day wedding affair in New Orleans in about a year. I don't mind the way he has his organized, with the wedding ceremony being a more private affair and the BBQ being the focal point of guest activities. Though I'm told that I'll be wearing a kilt now. . . someone needs to keep me better apprised of these details.

However, if you guys are all getting married to throw big parties, let me inform you that Kate and I throw several parties a year and have yet to shackle ourselves with a legal agreement (not to mention the religious one, if you're concerned about that sort of thing). Perhaps there is still that fear that the other party may one seize an opportunity to escape and a wedding, hopefully, cements the ties. However, I would recommend never losing that fear of losing the other person, it makes missing that football match seem more reasonable and surprising her with flowers on Friday night more appropriate.

So I guess my view on weddings is: Live in Fear.